A Falling Hope
by xXxshort.retardxXx
Summary: edward leaves, Jacob stays! plez review give me ideas sry for the long wait haven't had time lately sry B
1. Edward

"Bella, honey, I can't do this anymore, it's just to hard."

"No, no," I sobbed, "Edward you promised."

"I ... I... I just can't anymore." He let go of my hand and ran off into the woods. I know he was probably already in the house right now, taking everything he thought was his, including my heart, I just stood there, not sure if I could breath even though I could hear my breath coming in and out quickly. All I could think about was him, 'Where is he now? What is he doing? Is he thinkingabout me too? Did everyone else leave as well?' I hadn't noticed it was raining til Cahrle came up to me and told me I needed to get dried off. I could already tell he knew what had happened by looking at his face. He had on this I-told-you-so type of look in his eyes, but the same I-love-you-anyways look on his mouth. Iguess he could tell by mine too.

I walked slowly back into the house with Charlie following behind, softly touching the backs of my arms. I was dreading what would be gone.

Suprisingly everything ws still there except when I reached my room and opened my door. Over half of my stuff was new and all the pictures of me and ... him were gone. All but 1. Just one was left. It was of the two of us holding hands at the beach.'OK,' I thought, 'all he did ws put it underneath the floorboards like last time.' I walked through the door and knelt down next to one of the lose floorboards, and pulled it up slowly. nothing. this time he took everything, he's not coming back. He's gone. Forever. Forever. FOREVER. FOREVER. Never coming back, NEVER. I broke down crying even harder. He's NEVER coming back.

It took several hours for me to settle down again. When I finally did, I got up off the floor and laid down on my bed. The memories came flooding back like Niagra falls. (Gulp) Him lying next to me every night singing my lullaby. Keeping it a secret form Charlie every second I was awake. All the good times I had at their house with Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. Everytime I did something stupid and ended up in the ER with Charlisle coming to bandage me up. His cold hand cupped around mine while they put the stiches in or whatever they needed to do. Everything was coming back to me now. Everything I was going to miss. Like seeing him sparkle in the meadow. OUR meadow. Him picking me up every morning to ride to school with. ALL GONE. EVERYTHING. FOREVER.

There was a knock at the door."Bella, you in there?" It was Charlie

"Go Away!" I screamed through my tears.

"Someone's here to see you," he told me though I told him to go away. I hoped it would be Him but I highly doubt evenif he would come back that Charlie would lit him set foot in this house again.

"Who?" I asked.

"Jacob. He heard what happened and wanted to see if you were o.k."

"Go Away I'm fine." Isaid as steady as I could, but my voice cracked anyways despite my attempt. "I thought you would maybe want to ride the motorcyclesor something to take your mind off of things." This time it ws Jacob who was talking. I had already been grounded for riding them and to think Charlie would even let me ride them again was next to impossible.

"No, thanks its getting too late." I didn't want to ride bikes, that would only cause me to hear his voice and break down again.

"Bells, its only 11 o'clock." He said as he walked through my door and came in to dit on the edge of my bed . He rubbed my shoulder as I started to cry again. I pulled him towards me. He laid down, kissed my forehead and hugged e close. I cried against his bare hot chest. I wondered if he had been out running again even though Victoria had been killed weeds ago. The heat of his body soothed my muscles, making me relax, and helped my crying slow.

I kissed him . Well, not even that. I barely touche my lips to his and I froze. Rembering all of the careful boundaries He sey, making sure I didn't touch his sharp, venum coated teeth. I think Jacob thought I was going to finish the kiss which I wasn't, and pushed me away.


	2. Jacob

I pulled back farther to look at his face. He looked confused, very confused,but who could help him. I just kissed him, KISSED HIM, Edward just left a little while ago and I KISSED HIM, JACOB. I KISSED JACOB.

I'm so confused. Why did he leave? Well, that was easy to answer. I took the towel off my head, from showering and threw it at Jacob, who was lounging on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Where...Edward...should be. I held the tears back, I could cry later.Right now there was a VERY LARGE problem sitting in the middle of my bed. He shouldn't be here. I felt like, at any moment, and shout "Suprise! Gotchya!" In his heavenly voice. Jacob had to leave. Just incase Edward changed his mind. A small voice in the back of my head said he wouldn't. I crushed it quickly befre it could get any louder.

Two very warm arms wrapped around my waist, stalling my thoughts. He kissed my neck right below my earlobe. I elbowed him in the stomach even though he probably couldn't feel it. I stepped away.

"Jake, I...I just need to be alne for a while. O.K?" Isaid in a rushy angry voice.

"Oh, Ok, I...I just thought this wa what you wanted, but I guess not." He turned around and started walking towards the door slowly, probably waiting for me to change my mind.

"Wait, you'll come back right? Even though I just hurt you again by telling you to go away. Will you still come back?" I replied quickly, not wanting him to leave, but wanting him to at the same time.

"Yeah, sure, just call me or if you want to get out of the house we can go ride ikes or go to my house. Just call me." With that he turned and walked out the door. I immediately started crying again with no one there to put an arm around me, hot or cold.

I laid there awake for hours thinking, just thinking. I had so many questions. Should I take a chance with Jacob?Or should I not in the hopes that Edward will come back? He did last time, but he said he would never leave again and he did. Edward. Jacob. Edward, he left, gone, forever, Edward. Jacob, still here, waiting for me, Jacob. Just thinking about it made me want to call Jacob, but could I, was it to soon? I got up anyways to call hi, but I stopped. A picture, that one lone picture, the one of me... me and Edward, Edward, sitting on my dresser. I just shut down and fell to the floor, and burst into tears. I need to do something to kiip my mind off of Him. Jacob. Call Jacob. But what about Mike, did he still likeme, should I five him a chance too? Call someone. But who? Jacob or Mike? Jacob. Mike. Jacob. Mike. Let's call... Jacob.

"Hello?" JAcob said in a breathless voice.

"Jacob? Can I come over for a little while?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. Do you want me to come and get you?"

"Please." I begged, not tsure if I could get out of the driveway without crashing.

While I was waiting for him to show up, I stared at that one, that one lone pictureof the two of us at the beach. Just stared at it front, then back, when something caught my eye. On the back, down in the bottom left corner there was an inscription.

'don't die because i will follow, dont' live or love because i won't, don't do anything because only then will i do the same.'

I was staring at the words when Jacob showed up in his volkswagon rabbit. He came up behind me, put his arms on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. It made me start crying again, Edward used to always do that. He hugged me tighter, closing the hole in my chest just a little. "Shush, settle down, you really need to get out of the house." He whispered softly in my ear.

"K, where are we going to go?" I asked.

"Probably my house unless there's somewhere else you wanted to go."

"No, that's fine." I replied. As long as I was with Jacob, I would be fine. He led the way out the door without touching me, thinking this was the safest way for me not to think of...well...Him.

When we got to the car I laid down next to him, so my head was laying on his leg. Off and on he would play with my hair or rub the backs fo my arms. "Why do you still like me, Jacob?" I abandoned you for him. You've never hurt me."

"Don't say that and yes I did hurt you when I was turning. Well you know. And its me who doesn't deserve you, I'm never at home anymore unless I'm sleeping or eating. I'm always out running with the guys, so I'll probably never be around to see you."

We were to his house now, walking to the door, one of his arms around my shoulders, the other one holding my hand. "How about we do thies? O.K. neither of us think we deserve each other or that we should be together, so how about I leave and we go our seperate ways." I argued, pretending to turn around and walk away.

"I would die without you, Bella." He objected, grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

"You did just fine before I showed up." Iargued back.

"Thats when my dad was still here. Ever since he died last month I've been spending more and more time at Sam and Emily's or Embry's." We were in the house now, I was laying on the couch with Jacob sitting on the floor leaning his head against the edge. "I usually only come home at night to sleep and sometimes to eat, but Emily feeds us a lot too."

"Then, SHUT UP!" I concluded. We both laughed at my outburst.

"Let's go back to my room," he suggested. We walked back to his room in silence. As we walked past Billy's old room, Jacob's walk slowed tremendously as he just stared at the door. I could see his eyes glisten over and could tell why he was never home. I could also tell it was a lot easier to talk about it because its not as real, but seeing his room or wheelchair just made it hurt that much more. He stopped directly in front of it and touched it lightly with one hand on tight and slightly pulling him along. He came. Slowly. Very slowly. He stared at that door til we reached his own, shen he finally looked at me again and I saw one lone tear run down his cheek. He wiped away quickly, probably not wanting me to see him cry and opened the door. Sam was laying on the bed, he jumped up quickly.

"Oh, no, not you again. I know you, Jake's been through enough, he doesn't need you to leave again, too. I'm not going to sit here and watch you makeout. Talk to you later dude," and he walked out the door. Two seconds later the front door slamed and we were alone, again.

"Why does everyone hate me?" I questioned, sobbing.

"Not everyone does only Sam doesbecause he know what it feels like to lose someone you love near and dear."

"You... you loved me?" I questioned, very confused.

"Yeah, I did and I still do. I tried to tell you, but you ran off to meet that bloodsucker." He said calmly til the last word which he screamed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached his hand out towards mine.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I(asked, taking his hand and laying down next to him.

"I was to scared that you didn't love me back. We hild hands and crap, but you never really let me think of you as a girlfriendand we benever even acted like boyfriend and girlfried. I just didn't htink you would feel the same way about me."

"Iguess I never really thought about it. I'd only ever loved one other person before, so I never knew it anyother way." I pondered, drifting off to sleep.


	3. part 1 of 4

"Bella Marie Swan!"

Jacob and I bolted awake.

"Get In The Car Right Now! You're Grounded!" Charlie yelled again.

"But Ch-dad we didn't do anything," I assured him.

"Chief Swan, we didn't do anything. We're just friends," Jacob tried to tell him.

"I Don't Care! Get In The Car Right Now!"

"No," I screamed back, " I'm 18, I don't have to listen to you anymore."

"Fine," he said in more of an angry voice this time, "You're moving out then."

"Fine," I said back not realizing until after he left I had nowhere to stay or sleep.

"Where are you going to stay?" Jake asked almost as if he had read my mind.

"I don't know. I just don't know." It sounded like I was saying more to myself than him. "Can I stay here until I find some where else?" I questioned more seriously than before.

"Yeah that fine with me. Where else would you stay?" He joked. "Do you want me to get you up when I do, I'm going to my dad's grave." He asked having trouble keeping his voice steady.

"Yeah, I don't want you to go alone," I promised with a little bit of sadness in my voice.

"Thanks," he said, "but you didn't have to get kicked out because of my." He hugged me close. "I love you Bella," he whispered in my ear. I didn't say anything, just hugged him back, not sure if I loved him or not. "I want you to have this," he said still hugging me with his left hand as he pulled out a ring with his right. It had a thick golden band, which shined just right, with a heart-shaped small ruby right on top. It was worn and old, but it looked like there was an inscription on the inside that said, "I love you." My eyes glistened over and I thought I was going to cry from the shear beauty of it. He took my right hand in his and slid it on my finger. I saw he had one, too, except it had a thicker band without the ruby. I fingered mine lightly, wondering what I did to deserve this. "They were my grandparents promise rings, and now they can be ours, he whispered in my ear, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I can't accept this," I said on second thought. I pulled the ring off my finger, but Jacob caught me.

"Yes you can," he said a little more forceful. "I love you. Just like it says." He shoved the ring back on my finger. "You will wear it." He squeezed my hand tighter, and I'm pretty sure he broke all five of my fingers. I shoved away form him and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me he could follow. I thought quickly of where I could go where it would take him a while to find me-Billy's room. It will take him a while to go in there. I opened the door and walked in slowly, sitting dawn on the edge of the bed, thinking, and trying not to cry, form the pain of my hand. I could hear him sobbing because he couldn't cry and curse his strength. I think he punched the wall, probably putting a hole in it. Then it was quiet for a while before he was knocking on the door.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but we need to get you to a hospital. I think I broke your hand." He cracked the door a little, but I could still only see his nose. "Please, Bella, at least do this for me."

"Yes, I will, but I still won't wear the ring," I said walking to the door and putting the ring is his hand. "And it's not because I don't like you, because I do. I just never really like accepting gifts form anyone. I never took accepted any form Edward," I choked out that last word, "either, so don't take it as a sign of rejection."

He had a faint smile on his face as I came totally our of Billy's room. He ruffled my hair playfully as he told my yet again that we needed to get to the hospital.

It was a very quiet ride on the way there. I was able to think about a lot of different things that went on within the last hour. The only question I couldn't answer was why Jake would ever hurt me? HE never did,except leaving, but that was tokeep me "safe" supposedly. It's Jacob.Why would Jacob hurt me? Was it because I didn't accept the ring? It was only a promis ring,even though it was his grandparents.


	4. part 2 of 4

I glanced at Jacob to see if he still had his on. His hands were holding the steering wheel very tightly, so his hands were white , purely white, like his always were. But he still had the ring on as if I would wear it to it would change our lives. It would never change mine that much , but he thought his would at least. He looked at me and saw me staring at the ring he still had on. "You know you don't have to wear it. It won't change anything between us if you do or not. They're just promise rings."

"I know, but I'm more wiling now," I said as we pulled up to the hospital. I held out my hand waiting for him to give the ring back. He looked at me with a confused look on his face, almost like he thought I was joking.I looked back at him with the most serious face I could handle before bursting out in a fit of giggles from trying so hard.

"Come on," he laughed with me, "let's go." He climbed out of the car a little quicker than humans usually do. I stumbled with getting my door open even so its not like I was going to start running towards the building. Suddenly my door flew open and Jake was standing there, looking annoyed by how slow I was with only being able to use my leftarm. He just stook there, not helping, just waiting. He had one of his hands nice and relaxed, but the other one was in a hard fist, making his hand turn white.


	5. part 3 of 4

I glanced at Jacob to see if he still had his on. His hands were holding the steering wheel very tightly, so his hands were white , purely white, like his always were. But he still had the ring on as if I would wear it to it would change our lives. It would never change mine that much , but he thought his would at least. He looked at me and saw me staring at the ring he still had on. "You know you don't have to wear it. It won't change anything between us if you do or not. They're just promise rings."

"I know, but I'm more wiling now," I said as we pulled up to the hospital. I held out my hand waiting for him to give the ring back. He looked at me with a confused look on his face, almost like he thought I was joking.I looked back at him with the most serious face I could handle before bursting out in a fit of giggles from trying so hard.

"Come on," he laughed with me, "let's go." He climbed out of the car a little quicker than humans usually do. I stumbled with getting my door open even so its not like I was going to start running towards the building. Suddenly my door flew open and Jake was standing there, looking annoyed by how slow I was with only being able to use my leftarm. He just stood there, not helping, just waiting. He had one of his hands nice and relaxed, but the other one was in a hard fist, making his hand turn white. It almost looked as though he was holding something in it. Before I could could blink it was in front of me like he wanted me to pound it. I made my left hand into a fist and reached up to pound it like I thought he wanted me too even though I wasn't sure why. Before I reached his hand, he shook his head no at me. I got really confused then and was about to ask why he wasn't talking,when he flipped his hand over and opened it. It was the ring. Then I remembered asking for it and that I couldn't deep a sraight face long enough for him to give it up. This time when I reached towards his hand he just stood there and watched me as I took it from his hand. I knew I wouldn't be able to wear it when I got x-rays or the cast, so I slid it on the 1st finger of my left hand instead. I looked back up at his face after I had stared at the ring a while and his eyes were filled with lust. I knew putting the ring on was a bad idea, but I couldn't stand him being mad at me or hurting me again. I loved him, just not the way he loved me. Hheld out his hand again to help me out of the car, and I took it easily, finally standing up. He put his hand on the small of my back and started leading us towards the door. I pushed his hand away and he looked at me with a confused expression**(A\N again, I need a new word for confused plz help!)** on his face. Instead I took his hand and placed it on my broken one very, very lightly. He quickly undersood and lifted it up slowly kissing the back and smiling. The heat of his hand made it not hurt so much. I smiled too. It made me happy being able to make him happy.

We were waling through the hospital doors after a walk of silence across the parking lot, and Jake looked at me, almost as if to ask if I was ready. I shook my head yes to show I understood. I looked back down at my right hand. It didn't hurt as bad anymore, but it looked bad.

It was about the size of a softball and all black and purple. It looked disgusting, and I could feel my stomach exploding. I glanced aroung the lobby quickly looking for a trash can. I saw one over in the corner and rushed over, pulling Jacob along behimd me. The second I hit the trash can I threw up and started crying again.


	6. part 4 of 4

J.P.O.V.

I started raking her hair back out of her face with my hands. After all her hair was secured in my left hand, I rubbed her back with my right trying to sooth her and to make her stop crying... again.

I can't believe I could hurt one person more than one in one day. I've hurt her four times so far today.**_Four._** I've made her cry twice, broken her hand in I don't know how many places, and made her puke. If all things I choose, well not accually choose but anyways, the three of fourworst thing in the world.

B.P.O.V.

I finally stopped puking after about five minutes. But my throat killed now and a disgusting taste was in my mouth.

"I'll go get you an appointment for your x-rays and sme food. OK?" He asked leading me to a place to sit.

"Yeah, please," I answered looking up into his big eyes with my pleading ones.

"K, I'll be back in a minute," he said smiling and kissing my forehead befor walking away.

I stared at my ring for the longest time, trying to decide what it meant to me. Maybe he gave it to me trying to fool my mind into something that wasn't true. Or was he trying to make my heart think that I loved him, when I didn't? Or maybe he was trying to make me see the truth, but I ouldn't believe it because I was and am still hoping for...Him... to come back.

A baby started crying disturbing my thoughts. I glanced up to see where it was coming from. The corner. There was a mom in the corner with the crying baby in her arems. She was rocking it back and forth, trying to make it calm down. There was a dad, I think, sitting on the floor next to her playing with two little boys, probably their sons. All three were laughing and playing with the cars. I was trying to figure out why they were here when a girl a little younger than myself tapped the dad on the shoulder. The girl didn't have any hair, and it was then that I realized that they were here because she had cancer.

"Here." I jumped. "Sorry." It was Jacob; he was back with a sandwich in both hands. He was eating one and had the other held out owards me.

"Oh! Thandks," I said, slowing my heart beat down, and taking the sandwich from his hand. I took a small bite from the corner and chewed it slowly, It tasted diegusting, but it was something filling, at least. It was turkey, usually I loved turkey, but today it tasted like it came ou the of the trash can. Jacob sat down next to me, still finishing his. He set his left hand down lightly on my right, relaxing the muscles that were cramped from not being to move it for so lon, that was sitton my thigh. I ate my sandwich slowly, but I finally finished it after I had to look at my ring everytime I took a bite. I realized what he meant to me though, but I couldn't tell him now; now was not a good time. It was starting to get late, and I was getting tired so I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. Seconds later I fell asleep.

(Dream)

"Bella, honey, I can't do this anymore, I'm going to have to kill you," he said.

I could feel myself crying and thrashing around making sure he couldn't ouch me, but I couln't make myself wake up.

J.P.O.V.

She started to cry, and scream, but she was aslppe. I put my hands on her face. She had a really cold sweat. I tried everything to make her calm down. Talking to her, rocking her, tring to wake her up. Wone of which worked.

People started lookin at ne and her. I picked her up and took her outside, shaking her alon the way. This went on for about five minutes straight before she stopped. But she didn't wake up and was too still. Barely breathing. Not moving al all, not even her stomach, now it normally moves when she breaths. She didn't move at all

I ran her back inside as quickly as I could without looking inhumanly. I called for anurse. I needed to get her help... and now.

**A/N: Cliffy. sry its been so long I've been ultra busy. Im on my high school dance team and have practice almost every day and we are starting Competition now too. Jesse Huchinson died, too, and my family was really close with his so that took a while to get over and I just found out this morning Chris Cooper died this morning, lost control and hit dead on with a semi, died on impact, so to get my anger im writing and I'll proly write more too soon. Happy early Valentine's day: hope ur lives r better than mine.**


	7. Chapter 4

BPOV

I stared at him in shock and pure confusement. "What are you talking about?"

"I am going to miss you when I go to college." He turned his head towards the front window where Charlie was watching us. I tried dis tangling myself from him, but he held me where I was. "I'm leaving next week," he explained to me.

"How is that possible? You're only gonna be a senior, aren't you?" I was so confused right now, my head was spinning.

"I had enough credits to graduate last spring so I did, and I got a full scholarship to study mechanics in Seattle."

"Oh, that's great Jake! Congratulations!" I hugged him really tight because I was very happy for him and I had news of my own. "I'm going to college in Portland so then we'll only be an hour away. "I practically screaming now but I didn't care I was so happy.

"Not when I drive it isn't." He laughed. "It'll only take like 15 minutes for me." Then he kissed me yet again and I could feel him against my leg. This was the second time today and I was worried if he got eager enough he would start to push me into it. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I pulled away, but he kept on going. Down my jaw and neck, around the collar of my shirt, then back up again. He skimmed his nose along where he had kissed me and rested his forehead against mine. "I love you." He whispered looking up at me through his eye lashes.

"Thank you for saving me," I said simply.

"We better go in pretty soon." He said putting me back on my own two feet as the pizza guy pulled into the driveway. Someone stepped out with two pizzas in their hand. It was Mike.

"Hey, Bella, Whats up? Jacob." He growled.

"Mike." Jacob growled back more fiercely.

"Nothing much. You?" I said running over to him and kissing him on the cheek before hugging him. He slowly relaxed into the hug as he joked about bringing us the pizzas. They had closed their hunting store from not getting enough business. I had wondered where, if anywhere, Mike worked now, well now I knew at least. I hadn't bothered getting another job considering I had enough saved for college already. He laughed and I think he actually laughed at Jacob.

I had noticed Jacob tensing up from behind me. As I pulled away, Mike had a huge smile on his face, but his eyes asked if I was an idiot. And what in the hell was I doing with Jacob. I bet Jacob was asking himself the same exact question right now. Why is she with me?

I reached into my back pocket to get some money to pay with, but Jake caught my hand. He held out a 20 and a 10 to Mike. "Keep the change, " he said taking the pizza's from him and pulling me towards the house.

"Bye, Mike!" I yelled as he headed back towards the car.

"Yeah, see you later Bella." He called back, getting into his car and driving away.

As I followed Jacob back into the house, I kept glancing back at the road for some reason, expecting him to come back.

Jacob and Charlie never spoke throughout supper. They just glanced between me and each other suspiciously. I looked between them, too, trying to figure out what they were thinking.

When I was done eating I put my plate in the sink and went upstairs without saying a word. I sat on my bed listening to the sounds of them finishing up, absent mindedly drawing hearts on my bed with my finger. Jake cracked the door open and peered in. "Bella?"

"Yeah," I said without looking up.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked coming in and sitting across from me on the bed.

"Whatever," I replied not really caring and looking away. I knew Jacob was mad at me for hugging Mike and was probably going to yell at me for it anyways, but right now I didn't care.

"Why did you kiss Mike?" It actually surprised me with how calm he was keeping himself.

"Because he's my friend," I said like it was the easiest thing in this world to figure out.

"That doesn't mean you have to kiss him," he emphasized getting madder by the second and starting to shake uncontrollably. "Jake, settle down," I whispered in my most soothing voice, starting to get scared, "or leave."

"Fine," he yelled, running out of the room and slamming the door behind him. I got up and locked the door too. Then went over and lock the window. I cried all night, before falling asleep.

About 1 o'clock, there was a knock on the window , which I expected, but was actually worried on how long it took him to care. I got up slowly and unlocked and opened the window."What took you so long?" I whispered into the darkness.

But when he came through the door it wasn't Jake, it was Edward.

"Sorry I forgot how to get to your house," he snarled pinning me to the ground. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. "Now I'm taking what I deserve." Another noise came from my window. Jake. As Jake tore Edward off of me it left deep scratches on my breasts and stomach. He tore Edward apart, then left, leaving me all alone.


	8. Chapter 5

_For the next two days, I cried, worried about where Jacob was, and pretended I was sick to Charlie. I think Charlie thought I was going through that depression mode again, which I sort of was. He should check in on me every couple hours, ask if I wanted anything, and I would always tell him to call Jacob, but every time Charlie said that Billy said he was out with his friends. Same old, same old._

_It was Sunday before Billy said that Jake would be over later. He showed up while I was asleep, when he came in bed with me and put his very warm arm around my waist, I tensed up, not knowing who exactly it was (except for the warmth). He made small circles on my stomach, and it hurt when he touched the scars. I started to cry and he pulled me closer, which hurt worse. I pushed away from him and ran to the other side of the room, rolling up in a ball in the corner, and rocked back and forth. _

"_Bella, what's wrong?" he whispered coming over to me, trying to wipe away my tears. _

_I smacked his hand away from my face, "I thought you were dead," I spat._

"_Bella, sweetie, please tell me what's wrong," Jacob tried to ask again. _

"_You. You left me all along for 2 ½ days," I yelled back._

"_I'm sorry, but -"_

"_Do NOT but me," I interrupted._

"_Will you let me explain." He was getting frustrated now. "They came back, we had to keep watch, protect our ground and the people."_

"_Oh, yeah, you did a really good job at that," I mocked. "He broke in." I was shaking uncontrollably remembering what happened. He pulled me into his lap, and this time I let him hold me together. "He…he…he almost killed me," I cried into his heated chest. Jacob never said anything after that, just held me close, rocking back and forth. I fell asleep sometime after that. _

_I woke up in my bed with Jacob snoring softly behind me. I moved out of bed quietly and into the bathroom to take a shower, since I hadn't for three days now. The soap and water hurt my scars a little at first, but it soon went away. I towel dried and combed through my hair. I forgot clothes and went back into my room to get some with a towel around my chest. _

_Jacob was awake when I walked in. He didn't say anything, just watched me, my scars, letting everything sink in. As I walked back into the bathroom, Jacob just stared at me helplessly, not knowing what he should do._

_I reached the bathroom, shut the door, and dropped the towel. I stared at myself, my scars, my broken arm, everything. _

_The scars were red and looked deep, and were all over my breasts, and stomach. I must have been in there for a long time, because somebody knocked on the bathroom door. "Bella?" Jake asked, questioningly._

"_Hold on," I tried to yell back. I tried to pull my clothes on quickly._

"_Are you ok? You've been in there for quiet a while now." He cracked the door open an inch and peeked in. I was pulling my shirt over my stomach. His face dropped as he looked at the scars, his eyes searching mine for answers from an unspoken question._

"_I'm fine," I said quickly trying to make him feel better about not being with me then. I walked over to him pushing the door open a little more and tried to kiss him on the cheek, to be reassuring. He turned his head and met his lips to my own, his hand on the small of my back holding me there a second longer. I opened my eyes and looked at him through my eyelashes, blushing and smiling slightly._

"_I love you," he whispered, staring back at me. My smile faded slowly and he just stared at me, hopeful. "Did I just say that out loud?" He tried to fake, pretending he didn't. He looked embarrassed and ran down the stairs to make breakfast. I sighed and came out of the bathroom, watching him disappear around the corner._

_I threw my stuff in my room and heard Jake cracking eggs downstairs, knowing I'd have to go to the store sooner or later. I walked down the stairs slowly making sure I didn't fall. being really quite, I tried to sneak up on Jacob. I knew he could hear me, all of his attention intently on the pan. I wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered, "I love you, too," into his back, grabbing the plates from beside him and setting the table. "Why were you so embarrassed for telling me you loved me?" I questioned not being able to stand the silence around Jacob, only Charlie. _

"_Because I do love you, but I don't want to sound stalkerish. I just want you to know." He rushed out quickly. "Just you are the only one left in my life to love more than my brothers. Your all I have and I don't think I'd be able to live if you ran back to him after this." He was starting to get frustrated now as he walk towards me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I hit his chest like a brick wall. His hand tilted my face up towards his, he kissed me hard. His lips were rough on mine attacking them. He pulled me closer and everything reminded me of that night. _

_I pushed off him and ran into the corner, screaming and rolling into a ball "Bella." He whispered quietly walking over slowly, watching my face change with each step. It began to fade into a more relaxed happiness. Eyebrows down, eyes shut, slight smirk on my mouth, tears stopping, and slowly unraveling from a ball. "Bella…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to …I need to know what I did so I don't do it again. Please tell me," he begged. _

"_It just reminded me of that night." I said slowly, my eyes still shut, my breathing more eve. His hand came up to my face, his thumb wiping away the last remainng tear. _

"_Shh," he whistled softly in my ear. _

"_I'm ok, I'm ok," I whispered back, trying to stand up._

"_Here," he said giving me a hand to help me up._

"_Thanks," I said shyly. Jake pulled me into a hug and held me tight, making little circles on my back. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. This moment was perfect and I just wanted it to stay like this for the rest of my life. Uncomplicated, easy. Jake sighed a long, heavy sigh._

"_What?" I asked. _

"_I need to go, but I don't want to," he said like he didn't want to. "I want to get moved in today, so I'm not so pressured later on."_

"_Can I help?" I asked hopefully, not wanting to be left alone anymore. _

"_If you want, it'll be a long car ride though and Sam and Embry are tagging along to help. If you don't care and I'd be happy if you there." He leaned back and kissed my forehead. "Let's go then!" He shouted with lots of enthusiasm. I was flying through the air all of a sudden, over his hsoulder. He charged outside and packed me into the passenger seat of his Volkswagen Rabbit, and jogged around to the other side, still breathing evenly._

"_What about Charlie?" I asked before we pulled out of the drive._

"_Already handled. I wrote him a note while you were showering, hoping you'd come with." He said with a proud smirk on his face._

"_Thanks." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight and he squeezed back. I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes, slowly drifting to sleep, with his thumb making circles on the back of my hand._

_I felt soft lips press against my skin by my ear. My eyes fluttered open._

"_Shh," he whispered, "we're here." I looked towards his voice, he was crouched over me, picking me up into his arms. He shut the door with his foot and took me inside. _

"_Put me down," I slurred out, trying to hit him._

"_No, shh, you sleep," he ordered placing me on some bed, probably his dorm's drifting back to sleep._

"_Bells," Jacob asked, "are you hungry?" He brushed my hair out of my face softly, picking me up._

"_Yeah," I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and yawning. "I can walk." I said more clearly, trying to untangle myself from him. He stopped and put me on my own two feet. He kept his arms around my waist though and intertwined our fingers as we headed into the cafeteria. I stopped dead. There were hundreds of students walking around, eating, and talking. A couple of people looked at us, mainly Jacob's size. They would turn and whisper quickly to their friends, then both would look back. I blushed and looked up at Jake. He was looking at me too, and kissed me reassuringly. We started walking over to the line as eyes looked away, answering their question. He grabbed 2 apples, pb&j's , and Pepsi's, paying for it all before I could even reach into my pocket. "Why don't you ever let me pay?" I asked as we headed towards Sam and Embry._

"_Because I'm your boyfriend and I'm entitled to be nice sometimes. Only sometimes. So you might if you ever take me out, which I doubt, but that's about it." He chuckled, "Some of these girls are such sluts." He sat down and I sat next to him._

"_Jake," I said hitting him playfully. "Why do you say that?"_

"_Because. They're all hangy, hangy on their boyfriends, but their thoughts are trying to figure out what I look like with my shirt off and… eww… how big my package is. Gross."_

"_Well I care if you weighed 400 pounds, I'd still love you so there, "I proved kissing him on the cheek._

"_I know and I love you too." He said returning the kiss._

_I ate my apple and drank the pepsi , while Jake ate both the sandwiches, his apple, and drank the pepsi, talking about what his routes will be now._

_He was to run Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays and I have classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So basically we will see each other Sundays and holidays. "This sucks," I whispered a tear rolling down my cheek._

"_What?" He asked wiping my tears away with his thumbs. _

"_With your schedule, we will only get to see each other on Sundays." I choked out._

"_Shh," He whispered, "I'll come visit after my rounds on Saturdays too." _

"_Do you promise?"_

"_I promise," he chuckled, smiling, and kissing the end of my nose._

"_No sexual/physical content on school grounds!" A voice called from behind us. We turned our heads sharply towards the voice. There stood a white male, about 5-9ish wearing a suit and tie, looking very professional. He stood very straight and still with no smile and for a moment I swore it was Carlisle. Jacob stood quickly._

"_Sorry sir," he spoke, extending his hand towards who I guessed was the principle. "It won't happen again." The principle shook his hand. _

"_I'll count on that," he replied, turning on his heel and walking away._

"_Can we leave please?" I begged, exhausted. _

"_Yeah, because I don't think I can go too long with out touching you," he told me in a whisper. "Embry, Sam you ready to go?"_

"_Yeah," they said in unison, jumping up._

_We got off campus quickly and not talking. Jake kept reaching our towards me and stopped mid-air, then shoving them back in his pockets._

"_Race you to the car." I challenged about to go insane._

"_Go!" he screamed taking off._

"_Not fair," I yelled after him. Embry and Sam just started laughing. Jake beat me there obliviously. "You're a cheater," I said jumping into his arms. He spun me around before setting me on the ground. His fingers lightly grabbed my chin, pointing my face towards his. Standing on my tiptoes, I pulled his face towards min, embracing his lips with my own. He attacked my mouth and I attacked back._

"_Get a room you two." Embry muttered and I hoped Jake didn't take that literally_

"_Maybe we will," he joked, kissing me quickly. He opened my door then walked around to his side, getting in._

_The ride home flew by, especially once they started bantering Jake on getting married and carp. It kinda made me nervous at first, but it soon faded at their stupid comments to Embry about not even having a girlfriend. Jake glanced at me nervously, too, a few times. I just squeezed his hand and smiled like everything was going to be okay. Before I knew it we were pulling into my driveway._

"_Don't worry about us Jake," Sam said getting out, too. "Embry and I are going for a run. See you tomorrow."_

"_Okay," he said back, walking to the door with me. "I'll come back later, after Charlie's asleep if you want me to."_

"_Yeah, but can you come in now, too?" I asked wondering where he was going to go for the next two hours. _

"_No, I should probably go run with the guys for a while, so I don't have quiet so much to make up over the summer. I'll be here the second Charlie starts to snore though," he assured me. _

"_Okay, but right when he starts not a second longer." I ordered like Charlie. _

"_I'm so sorry, but seeing you mad is so sexy." He whispered leaning down and kissing me lightly. "I'll be back later," he said disappearing._

_I stared off into the vast space, not being able to tell which way Jake went, I walked back inside._

"_Bella?"_

"_Yeah, its me," I yelled walking into the living room, and plopping on the couch._

"_Did you have fun with Jake today?" He asked slowing down. "Where is he anyway?"_

"_He went home to finish packing. He forgot some stuff."_

"_Oh, I wonder what's going to happen to the house."_

"_I think he's going to live init still on breaks and weekends, and stuff."_

"_Oh, yeah."_

"_I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired," I said walking upstairs._

"_Ok, see you tomorrow," he called after me._

_When I walked into my room, I didn't even look to see if Jake was there yet or not, I just grabbed my bag and went to take a shower, which lasted a whole 2 seconds, because the hot water was all gone. _

"_Hot Water heaters broken," I yelled downstairs, walking to my room. _

"_Okay." I heard him scream back, right before I closed my door._

_I threw my stuff in my closet, before collapsing on my bed and onto something warm. "And hello to you too," he complained, grabbing my hips and flipping me over._

"_Hi," I said, hiding my face in his neck._

"_That's better." he chuckled, kissing my hair and rubbing my back peacefully._

"_Is something wrong?"_

"_No, just impatient, usually Charlie's asleep by now." He replied, scooting back further on the bed, and tucking me under the covers. "Sleep, he's coming," Jake whispered before slipping into the closet. _

_The door cracked open and Charlie slid in. "Bella? You asleep?"_

"_Ugh." My usual answer._

"_Can I talk to you?"_

"_Ugh."_

"_Its just you and Jake seem to be pretty serious already and its only been a couple days since"-wince- "anyways if you do decide to do anything to make sure you use protection okay? I really don't want you pregnant."_

"_Ugh," I emphasized._

"_O.k. good-night. Just remember," he said as he left. _

"_That was interesting," Jake said, sliding underneath the covers behind me. "Ugh? Even I could've come up with something better then that."_

"_You're not the one having to sit through the sex talk with your dad though. Are you?" I said maybe a little too loud. "Oops, sorry." I flipped over to meet his saddened face. "I'm sorry Jake," I said instantly hugging him, "I shouldn't have said anything."_

_He slid his arms around my waist and hugged me back. And I think for the first time in a long time, he cried and cried, finally crying both him and I asleep, still holding each other tight. _


End file.
